Saturday, May 1, 2010

W33K3ND FUNNI3S! #8 Hosted by Sh@kir@, Here are mine


Funick #28

"The future of humankind is dictated by technology an those that control it."


Funny Cartoon
Harold L. George is an illustrator born in Dominican Republic and raised mostly in NYC. Harold has been drawing since he was 6 years old, and says he has always loved cartoons, so it's no wonder he loves cartooning. Harold has been fervently trying to establish himself as a cartoonist and illustrator for the past year and has started The Funnicks in order to do that. One of his main goals is to eventually get The Funnicks to be recognized so he can start implementing them in things like shirts and greeting cards and hopefully animate them.

The Funnicks started as a simple idea inspired by his girlfriend and friends who's mundane everyday comments gave him material to utilize in marionettes and even one panel skits. The name The Funnicks is a play on the old newspaper Funnies. When his little cousin was younger, he was not able to pronounce the word "funny" correctly. He used to say "funnick" and Harold thought it was funny so that is what it became. The Funnicks are a compilation of characters whose attitudes and personalities could possibly be compared to those of the Looney Tunes characters, although they have their own personas, Looney tunes were one source of inspiration when he created them. The Funnicks are whimsical, sarcastic, and with their sometimes dark humor can touch on things like conspiracies, controversy, government issues and many more real life dilemmas. Harold looks forward to developing The Funnicks and its characters to entertain the public.
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Math Aha Jokes
Not really funny but, wow, what factor is gooood=+
Theorem : All numbers are equal to zero.

Proof: Suppose that a=b. Then
a = b
a^2 = ab
a^2 - b^2 = ab - b^2
(a + b)(a - b) = b(a - b)
a + b = b
a = 0

Furthermore if a + b = b, and a = b, then b + b = b, and 2b = b, which mean that 2 = 1.
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Poem of English
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!

author unknown
{Does sound like me, but it's not. The title of the joke/poems redirects to the sites they were found on.....Have a great weekend!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you Sh@kir@ for making me laugh!!!!
Tick the title to redirct to her fabulously funny
W33K3ND FUNNI3S #8 and an Amazing Blog to boot!
:)

9 comments:

  1. WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKA...YOU ARE HILARIOUS!
    I was sleepy it is almost 3 am here in Malaysia but you make me LAUGHED SO LOUD, think I am awake now!
    I really love the last one...Very funny...
    Is it your creation, Allison?
    love it ! love you!
    Have a blessed weekend!
    hugs
    shakira

    ReplyDelete
  2. No, I think I added a link to the website I found it at. There was no author mentioned. Sorry I woke you. I too, was up until the wee hours and then up waaay to early!
    Have a fabulous week end 2!

    TTYL
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Just looked at my post. Each of the poems titles, when ticking them, redirect you to the website I found them on.
    Peace!

    ReplyDelete
  4. http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2010/04/from-friends-to-friends-awards.html

    friendship awards.
    Happy May!

    check it out to see if you like some.
    ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. you are so very creative,
    well delivered poem!

    ReplyDelete
  6. NO, no, no, nop; I'm not the author.
    It does sound like me and it might as well oughta'
    But I can't take credit, where credit's not due.
    I will say very nice that you think of me so.
    Have a kick ass rest of your week end!!
    Thank you for all of the laughs...
    Tag@!
    You're it!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi,
    sorry....

    http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/05/01/weekend-funnies-week-8-you-cannot-catch-me-can-you/

    here is my funnies post!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you for posting my comics on this blog. I appreciate you giving my full bio and credit. Love the blog, by the way. For more of my funnies, you can check out: www.thefunnicks.blogspot.com and http://www.thewebcomicfactory.com/comic/i-hate-my-kids-and-you-dont-mess-around-with-deb/

    ReplyDelete

Banana This; Recycle Old Peels~ fertilizer or silver polish

There are things you can do with that old peel.

1. Do you have a green thumb? House hold plants and outside gardens require fertilization. A great way to give your plants nutrients is with a banana peel. The banana peel is very rich in potassium and phosphorus, which give that added boost to your plants soil, especially so with roses. Here is how to use a banana peel to fertilizer your soil for your plants. Remove the peel from the banana. Place the banana peel on a cookie sheet to let it air dry. Grab a paper bag or envelope. Crumble the dried banana peel and place it in the bag. Let the banana sit at room temperature for about two days. When your caring for your plant, give it a potassium treat of crumbled banana peel. Mix well in the soil to ensure the roots are fed evenly.
2. Have you been thinking about pulling out that old silver? Well there is no time like the present. Bananas peel can also be used to polish silver. Yes, polish silver. Take the old peels and place them in a blender. You want the peels to become smooth and creamy. Once they have, grab a cloth and small amounts of the creamed banana peel and begin polishing your silver. The shine will be breath taking.

SOURDOUGH STARTER with WILD YEAST

SOURDOUGH STARTER with WILD YEAST
Wild yeasts exist in the air around you and to some extent on the wheat berries. There are wild yeasts on grapes (unsulphured) and apples and other fruits. It is those wild yeasts which are 'captured' to make a sourdough starter. The process takes from 3 to 5 days. I wish I had specific amounts for you, but you could start with 1/4 to 1/2 cup of flour and mix in enough warm (not hot) water to make a thin paste. DO NOT make it too soupy. That, in fact, is the trick to a good starter, according to the French bread makers, and I think they should know. And after you've fooled around with the flour and water thing, you might wish to branch out into adding those unsulphured grapes, apples, sour milk, etc as a catalyst in order to capture other strains of yeast. Each of these strains has a slightly different taste. In fact if you move to another area, you might end up with a starter that produces an entirely different flavor. For instance, San Francisco sourdough bread is well known and has a distinct taste due to the wild strains in the air there. On day one you mix the flour and water (and add any catalysts to encourage fermentation) and place in a warm spot. After 3 days, the dough should be moist, inflated, and slightly sour. More flour and water is added (mixed in) and left to sit in a warm spot. After 2 days the process is repeated. Then the next day it is done again. Note the order: 3 days, 2 days, 1 day. At this point you should be able to make a loaf of bread using part of the starter and adding back what you took out in the form of more flour and water. Rule of thumb: Use about 10% starter to size of loaf. In the case of a 2 lb loaf this is a bit over 3 oz of starter (3.2 to be exact). For a 1 lb loaf 1.5 oz would be used. A book that describes this process in great detail is The Village Baker by Joe Ortiz, copyright 1993, published by Ten Speed Press, Berkley CA. If it's not still in print, try the used books stores, that's where I got mine. Or try your local library. If they don't have it, they might be able to get it for you. ©2008 by Ernestina Parziale

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