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Speaking softly wasn't always my strongest suit,
But today I was moved to learn an aged old virtue.
As a child I was shy, but I don't think anyone knew that or maybe…
I tried too hard, I drank too much, I talked over people.
I wanted to get over it, and thought that was the way.
I made big mistakes and made sure everyone knew it.
Then I was ashamed. I wanted to live down those mistakes.
I was reclusive, I was lost, I was torn.
I yelled, I threw fits; I searched for the ‘answer’ that
No one could tell me.
Time took care of it after all.
I want to cry out like the proverbial 'Town Crier',
But this is neither the time nor the place.
My solace today is quietness and peace.
In that quiet I found myself.
My self that is small and awake.
That self that doesn't have words at all sometimes,
And sometimes has just a couple, at others it is dictionary.
Quietness,
It softened me; which is, I suppose, the point.
I know that when I heard of a friend taking
A hiatus from speech, I longed for it.
I also know that, when I am quiet, I feel freedom.
When I am quiet, I am more open.
I think I fear my emotions being seen there,
But I did it anyway, and I felt them.
I will go to the mountain, next time I need to ‘cry’, shout, or howl!
I will go to the sea at the storm time when I am so moved.
I will sit quietly with nature and be revealed for this time.
I will sit quietly with nature and ‘see’.
Thank you for those lessons.
I know that love lost is not wasted.
I know it is better to have loved and lost,
Than not to have loved at all.
I am overwhelmed with our family today
That faced their loss and move boldly forth.
They did what they needed to do for them.
I am proud to call them family.
I am humbled to have been in their presence this day.
I am forever moved, and will live the rest of my life
With the memory of their heroic stance at that darkness,
And at their light.
Thank you for our family.
©Allisonians
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